Small promises..Small lies..

Monday, October 1, 2007

As usual . went to school . after school went to art room ta clarify things . saw nigel and samuel . then went in with erin and freesia to ask mrs lum about art stuffs .. and then went to suyu house ... pathetically ...
nth much to say bout it ....
just wanna say(to someone) : am i really ur fren or ur good fren or just a stranger?our best friend bond i've broken..
that presence .. if i did that to u .. i guess u wont feel good as well .. frens are by ur side .. so u nid not worry that u will not have frens .. if im not ur fren . u might be sad for awhile but .. in the end .. u will definitely cheerup . im glad u have been my fren .. but the hurting has been deep .. the arrangements of meetings that u guys arranged with a last min notice wasn't such a good idea though.. but at least i learned some chinese there.. =-=-end-=-=
thanks man daniel and brendan .. passing around messages.. at first wanna go there .. then come here .. im sorry but .. this is the first time that brendan had kinda really offended me .. cmon .. i noe u forgot that u asked my bro to call u .. but .. at least u handled the matter for awhile .. will it affect u ? .. by that time, i've yet to study and u already studied a little .. just by picking up the phone and talking to my brother to ask him to call u back later .. issit so difficult?.. i din noe why too .. somewhat u din seem to care .. u just kept asking me to do the job . i've done a bad job infact b'cos i din noe what was going through u and my bro's mind. im really sorry to say this ..
i was very troubled then ..
i din noe what u wanted .. at first u said u were shy/paiseh .. but when u went there...
you were alright right? ..
things come least expected.. think u heard this before .. and u did not nid my brother then ..
then u just nidda tell me to ask my brother not to come .. with a call or a sms .. in the end .. i helped u ..
i find the whole situation weird ..=-=-end-=-=
This whole meeting purpose .. was to actually be me..minqi.. and munyee .. to study chinese.. it was actually me and minqi .. and in the end .. thinking of gathering everyone... and i've yet to learn anything like before ..
were suppose to go minqi house but in the end ..
clashes .. here and there ...
total disappointment again ..
learning the piano was that tough there ..
i wonder.. who will understand my feeling?..
staring at the keys brendan play.. learning .. and learning with my own strength ..
i seem to be invisible ..
what have i learned for chinese...
words to read .. yes, it's good enough to me.. i guess ..
but soon i was also attracted to the computer screen about the shows..
is this counted as the studying meeting? ..
didn't thought that they would leave so fast..
and minqi .. though went home with me .. but .. the conversation we had .. wasn't satisfactory..
can someone tell me ... what's the word .. cheerup for? ..
they mostly say the same thing when i talked to them .. "Ahya. it's always like that one larr" or " oh " ..
and yet was having so much fun with each other ..
i seem to be a minor friend ..
i dun seem important anymore ..
in both ..
Guess im going through the "forsaken feeling" that happened to jesus on the cross ..
wish it's a normal thing ..
As it's tiring ..
that cycle..

Labels: are u there? are u my .. friend ? or am i .. invisible?..if i said i was not angry nor sad.. i might be lying .. have u ever thought of that?..

-----------------------------------------------------------
dorothy out
@ |3:26 AM|