me
wishlist
:: get good results/ good grades. a child can ever wish for. ::
# d0r0thy.
# 13 going 14.
# Am who i Am . (:
# DECEMBERbaby:D
:: do not wish my parents to go overseas so often . Duh . i miss them always . ::
:: having more true friends. never want to be lonely. ::
:: want to live life to the fullest. loves god. [{Chc}] child of god (: ::
Labels: that.. day.. that times.. I LOVE THEM I WANT ... them .. i want ...
Labels: how i wish i got my feelings clear ..
Labels: thank you anne too ... and brenda i guess...
Monday, November 26, 2007
mother lied..
who is gonna lie next?..
IT's just not right... no right...
EXPRESS.. now ...
have i really got the choice to give up something for it..?
THAT SOMETHING .. i've wanted and achieved but now .. i gotta let it go?..
JUST BECAUSE ..
(something)...
what have i done to have all these?..
trying to help out in everything i can.. but i duno ..
i duno ...
i duno ....
i really duno .....
TIRING....
THAT steamboat gathering...
that steamboat place...
it's presence of love in families... with relatives...
IT'S GONE.. JUST MISSING..
how can i have the appetite to eat..
i feel ... more like crying...
everyone's all gone...
to australia .. one by one...
flying away..migrating there..
when can they come back?...
when ... can i see them again?...
how long must i wait?...
i really miss them... really ...
don't wish to let go of them..
the memories i have in my heart.. since i was young.
they were just there...
playing .. laughing.. talking loudly..SO FUN.. so .. fun.. but now..
left with 3 families.. just 3 ??...
3 .....
i like this no. ..
but it sounds so pathetic tinking of it now...
it's seems... so small..
so small...
NOT RIGHT .. NO ...
nononoo!!!!
i miss them...
i miss you..
i wish they were all back...
but time just passes so quickly...
so .. quickly..
dorothy out
@ |12:03 AM|
sry that i din update my blog guys .
lazy and busyxD and yes
i've been sleeping like a pig all day long .
holidays have nth much to do sometimes indeed.
hmmm .. well ..
i got in to express fortunately .. but..
i wish i can handle the stress and the subjects well .. or very well ..
memorising can drive me nuts ! TT
elective history
Pure geog
Social studies
A maths
E maths
Chinese
English
lastly...
Combined science(Phy,chem)?O.O
i tink that's all? i duno bout the dnt all those sia-.- gotta go find out..
but .. the class im gonna go in is ..
3dil O.O..
at least im in the same class as freesia (laoma) LOLxD
hmmm .. feel very bad at times.. cos .. i forgot that i promised someone that i can get work from my mum for him but i din remember .. and now there's no more slots ..
so it's .. weijian.. christopher.. and new pple .. like ler ler?(china) ,stanley.. and shuai.. and one more.. weird names .. as in .. the shuai especially hahaha . though i din see shuai b4.. i remember there's one more xD
but i dun work for now .. just lazy ^^ .. though there's a reason haha .
yes.. the musical audition for round two results are not out yet i tink? it seems that no one got any notice yet ..
so im too *WAITING N WAITING* HAHA
but i wish next year .. i can handle everything smoothly ..
*PRAY PRAY PRAY* ><
also very sad that i din join the gurls and some guys for badminton nowadays.. there's a reason hahaha.
and last of all ...
8 more days~!( to overseas trip-.- which i most likely will be slacking in the hotel all day hahaha)
and...
13 more days~! ( guess it! hahaha)
hais .. miss my relatives who are in australia .. they migrated there quite long ago though..
they wont be able to celebrate with me so many things.. but at least we kept in contact through msn and emails .. sometimes even phone calls :D . but they seldom come back .. sadly ..
haha .. nvm .. at least still got friends.. other relatives.. and .. family ^^ ..
that's all for now peeps !
im still ...
still ...
am i holding on?...
i know i cant ... who can change it...
guess no one..
SIGNING OFF~
~d0r0~ ^^
dorothy out
@ |7:12 PM|
yes.. she is true .. that because of her looks .. she use another way to get pple close to her .. but somewhat.. she went quite overboard.. don't u think so ?..
-another thing-
exams is just tomorrow .. everyone .. all the best and good luck ! ..
after the exams .. it's time to Relax and play all u wan to . haha though im gonna fly off for quite a while lol . haha.
-another thing-
i wish i can talk to u(someone) .. one on one again .. to clarify things .. and i wish .. u will not give me the normal attitude that u always do .. the negative one .. which hurts .. i just wish .. everything will go normal again .. and back to where we belong ..
-another thing-
pls .. do not make promises when u can't fufill them ..
someone broke a promise already .. reminders .. and reminders .. but u din take note .. and left it behind .. now .. it's gonna past .. 12 midnight .. it's the end of the promise .. this time .. it is totally broken ..
-another thing-
thx anne .. and freesia(laoma) for being by my side .. especially freesia .. thx for helping me .. as well as anne -.-.LOL .. and others .. who encouraged me ..
but .. things gotta go on as usual .. it's normal to have ups and downs in life right? haha .
and ,, MAN .. i forgot to put my precious INTO THE pigeon hole -.-..IM DEAD -.- lol ..
-another thing-
if i gotta let u guys go .. and go on ..
i need to ..
but ... i want to ..
but i cant .. that is the prob ..
somehow i felt i could ..
but the truth is i couldn't ..
if only i was as important to u as u are to me ..
wont it be wonderful ..
just doubt it can come true ..
im never convinced ..
well .. just gotta wish upon a shooting star then ..
i may feel left out ...
or .. alone...
but when i look deep down ...
i still know ... someone never forsaken me ..
haha .. again .. it's my almighty father ..
last of all . thanks vanessa for the dvd haha . it was nice though it lags a little .
The little promises ..
the small lies ..
became ..
big promises ..
and ..
big lies ..
oh .. how i miss those memories ..
that i can't simply let go ..
yes im tired .. but im glad..
to once have friends ..
that were once by my side ..
let me repeat .. that
im glad ..
thankyou ..
THings gotta change ..
gotta adapt ..
before it's too late ..
but issit true? ..
i guess it is ..
gotta go eat dinner .. and look through the chinese textbook already then -.-.
nites ..
dorothy out
@ |4:04 AM|
nth much to say bout it ....
just wanna say(to someone) : am i really ur fren or ur good fren or just a stranger?our best friend bond i've broken..
that presence .. if i did that to u .. i guess u wont feel good as well .. frens are by ur side .. so u nid not worry that u will not have frens .. if im not ur fren . u might be sad for awhile but .. in the end .. u will definitely cheerup . im glad u have been my fren .. but the hurting has been deep .. the arrangements of meetings that u guys arranged with a last min notice wasn't such a good idea though.. but at least i learned some chinese there.. =-=-end-=-=
thanks man daniel and brendan .. passing around messages.. at first wanna go there .. then come here .. im sorry but .. this is the first time that brendan had kinda really offended me .. cmon .. i noe u forgot that u asked my bro to call u .. but .. at least u handled the matter for awhile .. will it affect u ? .. by that time, i've yet to study and u already studied a little .. just by picking up the phone and talking to my brother to ask him to call u back later .. issit so difficult?.. i din noe why too .. somewhat u din seem to care .. u just kept asking me to do the job . i've done a bad job infact b'cos i din noe what was going through u and my bro's mind. im really sorry to say this ..
i was very troubled then ..
i din noe what u wanted .. at first u said u were shy/paiseh .. but when u went there...
you were alright right? ..
things come least expected.. think u heard this before .. and u did not nid my brother then ..
then u just nidda tell me to ask my brother not to come .. with a call or a sms .. in the end .. i helped u ..
i find the whole situation weird ..=-=-end-=-=
This whole meeting purpose .. was to actually be me..minqi.. and munyee .. to study chinese.. it was actually me and minqi .. and in the end .. thinking of gathering everyone... and i've yet to learn anything like before ..
were suppose to go minqi house but in the end ..
clashes .. here and there ...
total disappointment again ..
learning the piano was that tough there ..
i wonder.. who will understand my feeling?..
staring at the keys brendan play.. learning .. and learning with my own strength ..
i seem to be invisible ..
what have i learned for chinese...
words to read .. yes, it's good enough to me.. i guess ..
but soon i was also attracted to the computer screen about the shows..
is this counted as the studying meeting? ..
didn't thought that they would leave so fast..
and minqi .. though went home with me .. but .. the conversation we had .. wasn't satisfactory..
can someone tell me ... what's the word .. cheerup for? ..
they mostly say the same thing when i talked to them .. "Ahya. it's always like that one larr" or " oh " ..
and yet was having so much fun with each other ..
i seem to be a minor friend ..
i dun seem important anymore ..
in both ..
Guess im going through the "forsaken feeling" that happened to jesus on the cross ..
wish it's a normal thing ..
As it's tiring ..
that cycle..
dorothy out
@ |3:26 AM|
today was okay i guess .. just feel .. so much changes as usual ..
feel that im not as close as i thought i would to 2 sin .. and .. as well as 2 joy .. cliques .. i guess ..
felt left out sometimes.. trying to fit myself back in .. but i somewhat cant .. so . ya .. haha .
okay .. it's true .. dogs have a life like us too .. just a little cuddle will get satisfactory filled hur haha . talking to jiahao now .. talking bout me liking animals LOL .. speaking of it .. it reminds me .. when i was very young .. and i was at .. my grandpa's funeral i guess? .. i was trying to find my way back to my auntie's house as i was at the nearby playground.. the other's as in .. cousins ? were still playing .. i was pretty frightened .. and it was getting late .. the sky started turning dark .. i was scared .. suddenly .. a BIG golden retriever came along .. he went beside me .. as if .. he knew that i was lost .. i started patting him on the head .. he seemed quite old to me .. having shaggy gums haha like old dogs do .. suddenly he seem to tell me to follow him .. i just ran after it .. while he led the way .. and suddenly .. i was under my auntie's blk .. i was shocked by what happened.. i then turned behind .. suddenly it was already across the road .. he seems to be happy that im safe .. it was as if .. it was an angel .. trying to guide a lost girl .. and suddenly he ran off .. back home i guess ? .. i then started going to my auntie's house .. but if im not wrong .. my other auntie came along and saw me .. then the dog went off .. then when i reached the house ... i felt so secure .. but .. i did not ever expect this happening to be in my mind till now .. somehow when i thought again .. i felt a little amazed and scared bout it .. and keep thinking that i was dreaming instead of it happening in real life .. but .. it was really true .. i thanked that dog .. so much ..i guess the past has really placed a great impression on me .
today had tuition . 2morrow having tuition again haha .
wish that i can concentrate in everyclass bahh .
sorry ruijun that i am not able to go to ur church this week . im so sorry .
i will make time to go one day .. after exams .. and i must >< .
father lord i pray for ur wisdom and guidiance during this period of time dear lord.amen !
a short prayer . =x .
lol haha .
all i noe is that . i may think that i am alone but i know i will never be .
as i have god .
nites then .
getting late .
stories might carry on in the next post about the past . haha
lol .
takecares ~
byebye~
dorothy out
@ |8:28 AM|
im back ><.
how's my new blogskin>
was kinda bored with mine so i decided to change it -.-..
today was pretty bad -.-.
parents went overseas again as usual on thursday morning. around 5.45? going to 6am ? they left the house. was sad and worried for them as usual . and was sick for the past five days(before thursday) as in that unwell feeling .. then felt more sick on thursday instead lol -.-.weirdo hur haha . but i know that exams are very near .. but if u are sick u got to be right? haha =x.
then i slept at my parents room yesterday because i watched magicians of love though i watched it before .
then fell alsleep haha .
then this morning woke up . was alright at first.. but
after i ate my breakfast which is egg with bread.
i had a little stomachache -.-.. it was always like that .
then later . when i was about to eat my lunch. (porridge) =x.
i ate a little . drank a little water .. then my stomach aches MORE ! it was like a particular pain that i experienced before last time .. usually at night .. and i will always rush to my parents room for help .. but now.. parents not here.. so was suppose to have tuition but in the end i told my bro i cant go thus he went himself =x . sorry uncle henry.
the pain last bout 1hr ..-.-..
which hits directly at 1230 and my bro went off .
in the end i ate medicine and slept .
i woke up at .. around 1.39pm?1.40pm? felt much better though .
then switched on my computer . suppose to do my work but no mood-.- LOL.
okay . i'll end here .
~d0r0~
=x
stupid kelvin :D LOL =x . jk
parents coming back today . (: !
dorothy out
@ |3:15 AM|
okay then .. i shall do my work now ..
i shall remember .. i still have god though ..
i still have...
god ..
thankyou ruijun ..
~d0r0~
dorothy out
@ |6:07 AM|